Do Kids Still Need Rites of Passage? Why Modern Children Are Craving Meaning More Than Ever
- Jenna Logan
- Feb 10
- 2 min read
Updated: 7 days ago
Parents today are doing more than ever for their children — more activities, more education, more support, more awareness. And yet, many families are quietly asking the same question:
Why do our kids still seem lost, anxious, or disconnected?
Across cultures and throughout history, children did not simply “grow up.” They were guided through clear transitions — moments where they were seen, acknowledged, and welcomed into a new stage of life. These were known as rites of passage.
In modern society, most of these rites have disappeared. And our children feel it.
What Rites of Passage Once Provided
Traditional rites of passage marked key transitions:
From childhood into adolescence
From dependence into responsibility
From being “one of the kids” into belonging in the wider community
These moments gave young people something deeply important:a sense of identity, belonging, and meaning.
A child knew:
Who they were becoming
What was expected of them
That they were supported by family and community
What Children Are Missing Today
Today, transitions are often unmarked. Children move from primary school to high school, from childhood into puberty, from dependence into independence — without pause, acknowledgement, or guidance.
Instead, many children receive their sense of identity from:
Peer approval
Social media
Comparison
Performance
This can lead to:
Anxiety and low self-esteem
Behavioural challenges
Withdrawal or acting out
A sense of “not knowing where I belong”
These are not failures of parenting. They are signs of missing structure and meaning.
Behaviour Is Often a Cry for Recognition
When children push boundaries, withdraw, or seem unmotivated, it’s easy to assume something is “wrong.”
Often, what they are really asking is:
Do you see me changing?
Do I matter?
Am I ready for more responsibility?
Rites of passage don’t solve everything — but they provide a container where children can be seen, challenged, and honoured.
Re-Introducing Rites of Passage in Modern Families
Rites of passage don’t need to be religious, extreme, or complicated.
They can be:
Intentional family rituals
Nature-based experiences
Shared challenges
Time away from distractions
Moments of reflection and acknowledgement
What matters most is intent.
When children feel witnessed and welcomed into new stages of life, something profound shifts:
Confidence grows
Responsibility is embraced
Connection deepens
In a fast-moving world, rites of passage offer children something rare and essential — meaning.
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